Daffodils
by blu3crush
Summary: Daffodils – a flower that signifies forgiveness and new start. Grissom learns the hard way that forgiveness has to be earned. He could not just swoop in and expect Sara to forgive him.


**Daffodils**

Disclaimer: Last check, I don't own CSI, Sara Sidle, Gil Grissom or any characters associated with CSI. I am just borrowing them. :)

HELLO! *excited waves* I hope someone is missing me!

As much as I am rather hesitant to post a new story (especially I have so many stories that are still hanging there), but I wanted to write something on Grissom's POV. And, also, I have not been writing for a few months, thus, if this is bad, please forgive me.

Don't worry, I will get my ass back to update.

This is dedicated to Torcan and others who had been with me since I first started.

* * *

Daffodils – a flower that signifies forgiveness and new start.

Grissom learns the hard way that forgiveness has to be earned. He could not just swoop in and expect Sara to forgive him.

* * *

Grissom could not have picked a worst time to return to Vegas. It was pouring when he stepped out of McCarran Airport. He thought he had his fair share of rain in Peru but he did not expect that the rainy season had decided to visit Vegas earlier.

He dug his hand into his pocket to search for his cellphone and let out a disappointed sigh. He had tried calling Brass and Nick to notify them of his return but they did not pick up their call. He left them voice messages but they did not respond to him. He suddenly realized how frustrating to be directed to the voicemail. He was guilty of not answering his cell and not returning voicemail. For every missed call or voicemail, he had a reason. He was too busy. The reception was bad. He could not charge his dying cellphone. Lights and keeping them warm at night were more important than charging a cellphone.

He had tried calling Sara but his heart clenched painfully when he realized that the Sara's current cell number was no longer in use. He always thought that despite his hurting actions, Sara would never move on from him. The main purpose of him returning to Vegas was to reconcile with Sara. He regretted asking Sara for a separation.

She grew bitter about the distance between them. He was unwilling to give up his research for her again and she was unable to leave Vegas. He was unable to understand why she could not leave. Once, she was the advocate to leave Vegas, stating that she could barely breathe in Vegas. Slowly, his resentfulness was fuelled by the fact she was back in Vegas doing what he loved. He gave up everything – his pride, his job and his home – for her and she returned when Ecklie called. She reasoned it was a temporary arrangement. Her visa was expiring and she could not get a job in Paris because of her communication barrier. She would return to the lab first and wait for the grant they applied to be approved. The temporary stay stretched to a permanent stay when she told him that she was going to buy a house at the outskirts of Vegas. Then, he became as bitter as she was.

They had an argument so intense that he told her that he regretted giving up everything for her. She was so startled that she kept quiet, not knowing what to say. It was so quiet he could hear static at her end. Then she hung up. When he tried calling back, she just let it rang. She refused to pick up. It was after a few days, he received her phone call and he knew that Sara had forgiven him. She told him about the interesting cases and Catherine's decision to join FBI. She never spoke about what he said and he was glad that she never mentioned it again. It was as if nothing had happened. They were still very much in love with each other and she made plans to visit him in Peru. Her plans were stalled when they were caught up with a case. He knew that the case affected her much. He heard a stifled sob and her voice turned raspy. Immediately after they said their goodbyes, he went online searching for a florist, which also sold plants. He sent her a pot of plant and wrote 'From Grissom' on the sentiments. He let the florist to deliver the plant to the Lab because he wanted to surprise her when she stepped into the lab and receiving the pot of plant from Judy.

His efforts were paid off when she called from the locker room. Her voice was happy and her laughter was uplifting. He could not stop his lips from twitching upwards. His heart swelled with happiness.

He never thought that things between them would turn for the worst.

The research grant he applied yearly was finally approved. He was elated and called her when he received the approval letter. However, she did not share excitement. Despite her lack of enthusiasm, his uplifting spirit was not dampened. He rattled on about how they would be finally be together and doing something they both loved. He was a man of few words but the great news seemed to change him to a chatty person.

The silence at Sara's side told him that something was wrong.

He remembered asking her if she was excited and her answer. Her answer was no. She was not excited. She was settling nicely in Vegas and DB, her new supervisor, greatly valued her work. She felt appreciated. DB had also hinted that there might be an opening for assistant supervisor in Day Shift and was going to recommend her.

She did not want to let this chance, her only chance at proving that she was a great CSI and she had leadership capabilities, to slip away.

He felt that his wife threw him into the pit. He felt betrayed by her.

The feelings of bitterness returned. He thought negatively about their relationship. He felt that she was being selfish. She gave up the chance to be with him. He felt that the love between them had slowly dissipated into thin air. All left was nothing but resentment and unwillingness to commit. She refused to uproot herself and start afresh with him.

He mourned for their dying relationship. He was upset and depressed. Then he became enraged.

His rage intensified when she refused to pick up his call.

Angered at Sara's avoidances, he joined a few bachelor scientists to visit the Town. He knew the reason why they went to the town. They went there to satisfy their body needs. But, the reason he went there was to grab a few beers and drink himself silly.

They were surprised that he, the studious, prim and proper, Grissom, wanted to visit the town with them. They narrowed their eyes conspiratorially before letting out a knowingly smile. After they got off the boat, they pulled him to a dark alley near the quay despite his protests.

The girls in the alley were young enough to be his daughter. The girls were dressed in tight micro skirts and a tube top that barely covered their modesty. They were clambering over them when they entered the alley.

The girls spoke in heavily accented English. Their choice of words was simple but provocative.

"Fifty, Sir. Everything include." A young girl, barely the age of twenty, grabbed his hand and grinded herself against him.

He flinched and wanted to withdraw his hand but the young girl refused to let go. "Forty, Sir. Please."

"Dr. Grissom, just take her," one of the scientists who had a slick and oily hair spoke. Then he thrust a packet of condom into his hand. "You know, protection," he laughed, and winked.

They then pushed him and the young girl into a small room made of cupboards. It wasn't exactly a room but a confined space that provided enough privacy. He could smell the stale sweat emanating from the cupboards.

He wanted to get out of the confined space desperately but the young girl blocked the exit. He was trapped. The young girl blinked innocently, and smiled. Her breasts sprang out when she pushed her tube top down.

He looked away and shook his head.

"Sir, I can satisfy you." She kneelt down and crawled over to him. Before he had the chance to stop her, her nimble hands were on his zip. She unzipped his pants in a swift motion and pulled his boxer down with her teeth. She started to jerk him off.

He did not know why he groaned and began to thrust into her mouth when she engulfed him in his mouth.

It must have been the lack of physical contact. He could not control his body reaction.

Then suddenly, Sara's face appeared in his mind. He realized what he was doing and shoved the young girl away. Feeling ashamed, he quickly pulled up his boxer and pants. He threw a few notes on the floor and scrambled out.

He felt disgusted and he felt that he had committed an act of infidelity. Shame filled his heart and he had let Sara down. He had broken the trust between them. He knew that he would never be able to explain his actions to Sara.

Thus, he decided to take the most coward way.

He asked for Sara for a separation, stating that this arrangement was better for her. He did not give her a chance to say no. After he delivered his 'it-was-of-your-best-interests' speech, he disconnected and switched off his cellphone.

"Sir!" a voice broke off his torrent of thoughts.

"Are you getting into the cab?" the impatient man in business suit behind him in the queue asked. He tapped his foot, and glared at him irately.

"Yes." he replied.

"Where're you going to, Sir?" The cab driver asked when he settled in the cab.

"Home." He smiled and gave him the address where Sara was staying now.

He was determined to mend every broken bridge between Sara and him. He was determined to win her back. He was going to confess on his infidelity and hope that she would understand and forgive.

He knew that the journey of getting back together was not going to be an easy one but he refused to be retreat.

He wanted Sara back.

* * *

Hold your eggs. I did not mean to make Grissom to visit a prostitute but I just thought that this might be a reason why he decided to ask for a separation. I would say that he was pretty much an old school man whose values were conservative.

I am going to get back on my other stories. I hope my schedule allows it. The writer block seemed to lift up a little. There should be another two more chapters. :)


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